Random hetalia crack
by Angel atems girl
Summary: Just a really random story...Russia/OC,England/OC


Sea sat on Russia's desk. Watching him typing away on his new laptop.

"What are you doing?"She asked,her head tilting to the side like a curious cat.

"It's called facebook."Russia smiled as he turned his laptop to face Sea. She looked at the screen,dumbfounded. Russia couldn't help but chuckle at his adorable subordinate.

"Here,let me make you one,da?"He said as he began typing into the computer. Sea got up and stood behind him,her nose nuzzling into the back of his scarf. Russia smiled to himself. Then he finished making Sea's profile.

"Now to add friends."He said as he started sending friend requests to everyone. In a flash,Sea was friends with all the other nations. She squealed in delight when she saw the name of her adopted child pop up.

"Sealand's on!Can I talk to him?"She asked excitingly. Russia smiled and pulled her into his lap. Then she began to type away,nearly wearing out his keyboard. Russia relaxed back into his chair and wrapped his arms around her waist. Sea totally ignoring him,she was to busy talking to her adorable England and adopted child Sealand. Russia didn't mind though, he was too busy trailing his hand up her back, slowly removing her shirt.

"Russia!Not now!I'm busy!"Sea yelled as she pulled away from him. Russia's smile turned creepy and his eyes went dark. He quickly grabbed Sea's small hands in one of his and closed the laptop with the other.

"What was that about being busy?"Russia purred into her ear seductively. Sea's face began to turn red. And Russia smiled gently,then let go of her hands and pulled her into a hug.

"My adorable Atlantis!You know I love you,da?"He said as he held the smaller nation in his arms.

"Yes!I know...and I love you too..."Sea said blushing,Russia's smile widened and was from ear to ear. Sea was a bit worried,but her worry melted away when Russia crashed his lips onto hers. Sea's face was as red as a tomato,and she was just waiting for Spain to run by and kidnap her.

"Hey,the world meeting-"China walked in and stood there for a moment in shock. Russia pulled away from the kiss and eyed China.

"What do you want?Can you see I'm busy,da?"Russia said coldly,his lavender eyes full of lust and anger.

"T-the world meeting is in London tomorrow."China said quickly,before slamming the door. Sea stared at the door,hoping China would come back,but reality hit her when she felt Russia grabbing her chest.

"S-stop that you pervert!"She squealed,but of course Russia didn't listen. He smiled as he began to nibble at her neck and collar bone.

"Stop!"She squealed as she pushed away from him. Russia stopped and looked up at her.

"Do you not like Russia anymore?"He asked. His childlike features becoming heart breakingly sad. Sea just pointed at the window behind him. It was open.

"Aw!Your so shy!It's adorable,da!"Russia said as he pounced on Sea and knocked her to the floor.

"Russia!"Sea yelled as she squirmed from his grip. She broke free and ran for the door, grabbing the laptop along her way. Russia sat up quickly and followed her.

"Lithuania!Help me!"She screamed as she darted past him in the hallway. Lithuania looked at her confused,before being ran over by a determined Russia. Sea squealed as she ran into her room and locked the door behind her. She climbed into her closet and opened the laptop.

_'Russia has gone crazy,please help!'_She wrote on her facebook. Suddenly her bedroom door flew open and in walked a very scary Russia holding his pipe. He quietly walked over to the closet (Where Sea always hides) and flung open the door. Sea squealed as Russia lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder. He then walked out of the room nonchalantly and headed to his room.

"Am I in trouble now..."Sea whispered. Russia smiled sweetly. Oh yeah,she was definitely in trouble. As Russia walked into his room,he slammed the door behind him and locked it before throwing Sea onto his giant bed. Sea sat up and watched as Russia pulled off his scarf and threw his jacket to the ground. He smiled sweetly as he took of his shirt, Sea blushing and trying to look away. Russia climbed onto the bed and gently pushed her onto her back.

"Here's the perfect punishment,da?"He smiled as he crashed his lips onto her and began to devour her mouth. And before Sea could push him away,her hands where tied together with his scarf and he was kolkolkoling quiet evilly.

"Oh no!We have a meeting tomorrow!"She cried before Russia jumped her.

The next day

"Sea doesn't look so good."America commented on how Sea had her head down on the table and was moaning in pain. China couldn't help but blush since he heard what Russia had done to her last night. And to be honest,he was surprised she survived.

"Russia!Vhat on earth did vou do to her?"Germany yelled. Russia smiled innocently.

"She became one with Russia last night." He simply stated. Everyone just stood there, scared and shocked. Then England,who was late,walked in.

"Sorry I'm-"He was cut off by Sea's lips crashing into his.

"My adorable England!I'm so happy to see you!" Sea smiled and giggled and began to strip England.

"See. She's fine,da?"Russia smiled. Then everyone watched as Sea stripped England down to his boxers,and Italy helped by taking pictures for her,then jumped him and dragged him under the table.

"Russia,I think you wore off on her too much,aru."China said,as he tried to ignore England's cries of rape.

"Maybe you could die it down a little."America suggested. Totally ignoring the loud moans coming from under the table.

"Maybe your right,da?"Russia agreed as he listened to England and Sea's moans.

"Can we get some towels?France had a nose bleed again."Spain yelled,then everyone left the table to look for something to clean up France's blood. Leaving poor England to the mercy of his crazy fangirl Sea Atlantis...like always.


End file.
